Counselor Peyton's Notes
A child's counselor reads between the lines of the text message record.
What a Counselor Sees
When you work with children of divorce, you learn to read between the lines. The child sitting in your office is a product of the home environment — and in joint custody, the environments, plural. You're always trying to understand: what is this child navigating between two houses?
With Adele, the text record between her parents tells me a lot.
A Child in the Middle
The first thing I notice is the "child as messenger" pattern. Across six years, there are 54 documented instances where information about Adele is relayed through Adele rather than directly between parents. "Adele said you told her..." "Delly says she needs..." "She told me that you..."
This puts a child in an impossible position. She becomes the communication channel between her parents. She's carrying information she shouldn't have to carry. She's being put in the middle of adult conflict, and she knows it.
For a child who has expressed self-harm ideation, this additional emotional burden is particularly concerning. She is already struggling with something. The weight of being the go-between can only make it heavier.
The Parent She Can't Reach
Reading these texts, I can construct what Adele's experience looks like from her side.
At Dad's House
He's present. He asks about school. He asks about her health. He helps with homework. He wants to talk about her day. The texts show a father who is actively, consistently engaged.
At Mom's House
Dad asks to talk to her. Based on the record: often nothing. Dad calls or asks for FaceTime. Mom doesn't pass along the message, says she's busy, or doesn't respond.
What does Adele experience? Her dad stops calling. Not because he doesn't want to — the texts show he's asking constantly — but because the calls aren't getting through. From Adele's perspective, she may believe her dad isn't trying. She doesn't see the 50+ unanswered requests. She just knows the phone doesn't ring.
This is one of the most damaging things gatekeeping does to a child.
It doesn't just block the relationship — it makes the child believe the relationship doesn't exist. The blocked parent is erased from the child's daily life during the other parent's time, and the child internalizes that absence as rejection.
The Self-Harm Mention
May 19, 2022
Jason texts that Adele was self-harming and expressing suicidal ideation. This is in the context of her living environment with Todd and his daughter Amelia.
As a counselor, this is a red flag that cannot be overstated. A child who is self-harming and expressing wishes to die is communicating something urgent.
What I don't see in the text record: any coordinated response between the parents about getting Adele professional help for this specific crisis. Jason raises it. It's not disputed. And then the conversation moves on.
If Adele was my client when this was disclosed, I would have immediately assessed for current safety, developed a safety plan, and involved both parents in a coordinated response. The text record suggests this coordinated response did not happen.
The Todd Factor
What the texts reveal about Todd's involvement is concerning:
- Todd is present at custody exchanges
- Jason explicitly asked that Todd be removed from co-parenting communications
- Jason set a boundary requiring public-place exchanges (suggesting safety concerns)
- Adele has reportedly told Jason she has been recorded by Todd
- The dramatic writing style shift in 2025 suggests Todd may be authoring Melanie's texts
If a non-parent is this deeply embedded in the custody dynamic — and if that person is also recording the child — the child's sense of safety and privacy is compromised. Adele should feel safe in both homes. The presence of surveillance and third-party control suggests she may not.
What Adele Needs
She is a child caught between a father who is trying to reach her and a system that is making it harder and harder for him to do so.
Corroborated by the Court Record
The concerns above are not theoretical. They are confirmed by sworn testimony and court orders:
Melissa Cavanaugh, LPC-S — Deposition, August 14, 2024
"She was self-harming. She was hitting herself and scratching herself, and she had passively alluded to suicidal ideation."
On Adele's anxiety worsening
"Her symptoms of anxiety, up until the last time I saw her in February, had tremendously gotten worse, per her report to me and per my witnessing her panic attacks."
On Todd's dismissiveness in session
"Todd kind of chuckled when I used the word traumatized and said she's not traumatized... things didn't change much after that."
Peyton Corwin, PLPC — Letter, March 15, 2024
"Since that time, Adele has not indicated having any questioning or change of her desire to live full-time with her father."
Hearing Officer Vanessa Randall — November 20, 2024
Jason designated domiciliary parent. Adele stays with Jason during Melanie's work days. Melanie ordered into the Best Moms Program.